Once again its R U OK day which is aimed towards reaching out to people in your vicinity of all backgrounds to ask them if they are ok. Many people at risk of suicide suffer silently.
A friend of mine mentioned how this one day vigilantism didn’t help anyone. And that it was slightly annoying. It seems that every day is something day, suicide, remembrance, humanitarian. You know I actually relate to him. There are hundreds no thousands of people out there who will be all up in a cause for a day and then when that day is over they forget. With social media its become more evident the amount of one day freedom fighters around the world. Perhaps 90% of people that share these causes will never give another thought until the day goes around again.
Does anyone remember KONY 2012? You know that video you shared that accomplished nothing. Ok that’s a bit of a rare case because that was a ridiculous cause that was never going to get solved by public pressure in fact was already getting solved to the best of the abilities of international intervention.
What if for every 1000 people that share the cause one person listens? And that one person finds the cause that they are passionate about. There are tales of people who changed the world by fighting for what they were passionate about. Martin Luthor King for example. Whilst sometimes these one day vigilantes gets on my nerves I try to look past that and see the positivity and realise that if just one person’s world could be changed, one person’s life could be saved than all the social media spam I spent the day looking at was worth it.
Everybody is different and everybody has their own battles to fight. Some have none and you know that’s their choice. Mine is quite evident since the amount of work I do for asylum seekers rights, the political spam I fill my Facebook page with. My ultimate mission is global equality but I can’t change the world – but I can change one person’s world. And for every person’s eyes I can open to global equality and dismiss cultural stereotypes and fears that’s one more step towards my goal.
And suicide is something I feel strongly about mostly because I’ve felt the pain of being a survivor. When my partner committed suicide I was ignorant. The signs were all there and I ignored them. I spent a long time suffering and I would never wish that kind of pain on anyone. I would do anything I could to prevent other people going through what I did. So yes I will join the bandwagon and promote awareness. And I hope that I can reach at least one person that matters.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Thursday, September 6, 2012
My Couchsurfing family
A Maltese girl I met through one of my CSers who turned out to be quite the couchsurfer herself mentioned to my surfer “I don’t know how you can surf there, its to awesome I would never do anything or go to bed.”
To which my surfer replies “now you see my problem!”
Sam an English guy who surfed my couch back in December 2011 wrote in my guestbook “I’m sure Darwin is a great place but I never saw it because I couldn’t get off the awesome balcony chatting with the other couchsurfers”
Last night I was sitting downstairs drinking a bad german beer with three of my couchsurfers. Dan from California, Anders from Denmark & Charly from France.
Californian Dan proceeded to drunkenly inform me how I was Couchsurfing Northern Territory. I was the most experienced host/surfer in the whole of the NT. I guess its quite a feat to be the most experienced host in the whole of a region and I do have a few hosts not far behind me. But there is only 250,000 people in the whole of the Northern Territory so its not like I’m trying to be the most experienced host in California or anything.
Dan stood up and looked towards the balcony, the balcony of awesome. And he said “Imagine how many people have stood right here. How many surfers have passed through these gates” Dan was having a bit of a drunken spiritual moment I have felt time and time again when I stare out at the tents parked under my house and contemplate just how lucky I am to be given the chance to meet these people.
But sitting there listening to my three long term surfers rattle on drunk about the amazing stories and experiences that would have happened under my roof it I couldn’t help but think its not just me and my real life family who created this epic story it’s the surfers who passed through. I pride myself on my ability to select awesome people and time and time again I am rewarded. Each season I create a new family plucked from various countries that somehow all meld together despite being completely different. Its these connections that create the vibe that resonates through the house and creates the legend of the couchsurfing house in Malak.
Probably my first real CS family was a bit of a mixed bag of Gypsies. July 2010. You would have the frenchies Pierre, Greg & Eric & their token female Flavia the loud & proud Italian. Then there was Ilona the overly talkative German who became my CS protégé and European sister. The Morgans, a French couple with the same name sort of slid in there as well. Jon the American riding the country on his motorbike. I couldn’t forget Jordan! Who has his own CS bedroom now two years down the track we still refer to as ‘Jordans Room’. Where is that book? Oh its in Jordans Room. Then Kevin the crazy hippy surfy French guy who kept us with a constant supply of crepes in the cupboard. Of course there was also Tom the strange swiss guy who learnt English in Indonesia and kept us interested with tales of accidently blowing up cows with artillery tanks. And then Dominik, the slowest german in the world who started so innocently in Australia and ended up one of the biggest vagabond hippies ever on his exit two years later. We had crazy camping adventures, nights out in the city, raves on the beach, snake catching expeditions.
I can’t write all the families because there has been so many. I remember one particular day on the balcony in 2011 with A couple from USA Kat & Jeff, Ben from Couchsurfing (and also Scotland), Claire from the UK, Tal & Eran from Israel & Philipp my favourite crazy German statistic and Kat said to me “Its incredible how you can have all these different unique people in one place and it just works so well” Its effortless the combination of personalities.
Many hosts talk about that empty feeling when you say goodbye to somebody you make a connection with. Because hosting is temporary eventually one day they will all leave. And that empty feeling affects me considerably. But each time I think I will never have that connection again a new surfer walks through my door and a new surfer family is created. I never forget my past families and I hold a spot for each of them in my heart. I know I will see many of them again.
Its comforting in a way to know that all around the world I have family and that I will never be alone when I travel.
Other things may change us, but we start and end with family
To which my surfer replies “now you see my problem!”
Sam an English guy who surfed my couch back in December 2011 wrote in my guestbook “I’m sure Darwin is a great place but I never saw it because I couldn’t get off the awesome balcony chatting with the other couchsurfers”
Last night I was sitting downstairs drinking a bad german beer with three of my couchsurfers. Dan from California, Anders from Denmark & Charly from France.
Californian Dan proceeded to drunkenly inform me how I was Couchsurfing Northern Territory. I was the most experienced host/surfer in the whole of the NT. I guess its quite a feat to be the most experienced host in the whole of a region and I do have a few hosts not far behind me. But there is only 250,000 people in the whole of the Northern Territory so its not like I’m trying to be the most experienced host in California or anything.
Dan stood up and looked towards the balcony, the balcony of awesome. And he said “Imagine how many people have stood right here. How many surfers have passed through these gates” Dan was having a bit of a drunken spiritual moment I have felt time and time again when I stare out at the tents parked under my house and contemplate just how lucky I am to be given the chance to meet these people.
But sitting there listening to my three long term surfers rattle on drunk about the amazing stories and experiences that would have happened under my roof it I couldn’t help but think its not just me and my real life family who created this epic story it’s the surfers who passed through. I pride myself on my ability to select awesome people and time and time again I am rewarded. Each season I create a new family plucked from various countries that somehow all meld together despite being completely different. Its these connections that create the vibe that resonates through the house and creates the legend of the couchsurfing house in Malak.
Probably my first real CS family was a bit of a mixed bag of Gypsies. July 2010. You would have the frenchies Pierre, Greg & Eric & their token female Flavia the loud & proud Italian. Then there was Ilona the overly talkative German who became my CS protégé and European sister. The Morgans, a French couple with the same name sort of slid in there as well. Jon the American riding the country on his motorbike. I couldn’t forget Jordan! Who has his own CS bedroom now two years down the track we still refer to as ‘Jordans Room’. Where is that book? Oh its in Jordans Room. Then Kevin the crazy hippy surfy French guy who kept us with a constant supply of crepes in the cupboard. Of course there was also Tom the strange swiss guy who learnt English in Indonesia and kept us interested with tales of accidently blowing up cows with artillery tanks. And then Dominik, the slowest german in the world who started so innocently in Australia and ended up one of the biggest vagabond hippies ever on his exit two years later. We had crazy camping adventures, nights out in the city, raves on the beach, snake catching expeditions.
I can’t write all the families because there has been so many. I remember one particular day on the balcony in 2011 with A couple from USA Kat & Jeff, Ben from Couchsurfing (and also Scotland), Claire from the UK, Tal & Eran from Israel & Philipp my favourite crazy German statistic and Kat said to me “Its incredible how you can have all these different unique people in one place and it just works so well” Its effortless the combination of personalities.
Many hosts talk about that empty feeling when you say goodbye to somebody you make a connection with. Because hosting is temporary eventually one day they will all leave. And that empty feeling affects me considerably. But each time I think I will never have that connection again a new surfer walks through my door and a new surfer family is created. I never forget my past families and I hold a spot for each of them in my heart. I know I will see many of them again.
Its comforting in a way to know that all around the world I have family and that I will never be alone when I travel.
Other things may change us, but we start and end with family
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
work like you don't need the money
I’ve been kind of uninspired to write recently. In fact I start with a few sentences and then suddenly my focus is drawn somewhere else and then I don’t even care about what I’m writing about any more.
I’m thinking about my style of travel, of life compared to everyone else. You see I’ve been hanging out with a lot of Iranians lately. Yes they are all refugees but recently released and living in Darwin. In Iran your social status is very important, most will go to school to become engineers or doctors which in fact means that there are a lot of unemployed doctors & engineers in Iran.
One particular Persian I have been spending some time with is Hossein he is a motorcycle mechanic. His father is a very famous poet in Iran. When Hossein decided to become a mechanic his family frowned upon him. To say your son is a mechanic let alone a motorcycle mechanic is socially embarrassing for the family. But Hossein told me that he didn’t want to have an education and no job so he decided to be a mechanic. Really what is the point of telling people that you’re a doctor if you are not doing anything with it?
In Australia being a mechanic is quite an achievement and I told Hossein this! We pride ourselves on our tradesmen. No wonder doctors & engineers are in such short supply when we are so enthusiastic about mechanics!!! You can be a mechanic on a mine site and earn more than a doctor with less education & stress!!!
So in Iran social standing, income etc is very important how much money you make is really a big deal to them. It must be hard for them to come to Australia with these incredible educations and have to work as taxi drivers just to make ends meet.
And then you have me, I’m spending time with these guys who will give me the shirt off their back just to prove they have some kind of social standing and yet money has always been a moot point for me. I used to think I cared about that sort of stuff the house, the 2.4 children etc but after going through my partners suicide life really becomes so temporary.
For me ultimately life is about being happy and as long as you aren’t hurting anybody else than your happiness should be number one. Perhaps this is why I sympathise with “boat people” and their reasoning behind the journey to Australia I mean who are we to judge when everything for us is so easy? Don’t they have a right to be happy as well.
But travelling for me is also the same, im not into the fivestar hotels, guided tours, top rated resturants. I am more likely to have a better time sleeping on the floor of some random local following them to some obscure adventure in the woods and finishing up with a local meal at their friends house. Maybe that thing I ate that was given to me by that random guy was deep fried cockroache or I don’t even know where the fuck I am the next morning as I crawl bleary eyed out of a tent not recognising the five people passed out beside me. Or maybe I have no money because the closest ATM is miles away and I gave my last 10 bucks to the bartender for a round of beer with my new found associates who names I can’t remember but im fairly certain one of them had a monkey.
So I’m sitting at my 8:24-5 job and then I head off to university so I can get some paper to get a better 8:25-5 job. My office is huge, my boss is awesome, I love the work I do. But a little piece of me inside is kind of wishing I could be somewhere… anywhere where I don’t need anything.
I’m thinking about my style of travel, of life compared to everyone else. You see I’ve been hanging out with a lot of Iranians lately. Yes they are all refugees but recently released and living in Darwin. In Iran your social status is very important, most will go to school to become engineers or doctors which in fact means that there are a lot of unemployed doctors & engineers in Iran.
One particular Persian I have been spending some time with is Hossein he is a motorcycle mechanic. His father is a very famous poet in Iran. When Hossein decided to become a mechanic his family frowned upon him. To say your son is a mechanic let alone a motorcycle mechanic is socially embarrassing for the family. But Hossein told me that he didn’t want to have an education and no job so he decided to be a mechanic. Really what is the point of telling people that you’re a doctor if you are not doing anything with it?
In Australia being a mechanic is quite an achievement and I told Hossein this! We pride ourselves on our tradesmen. No wonder doctors & engineers are in such short supply when we are so enthusiastic about mechanics!!! You can be a mechanic on a mine site and earn more than a doctor with less education & stress!!!
So in Iran social standing, income etc is very important how much money you make is really a big deal to them. It must be hard for them to come to Australia with these incredible educations and have to work as taxi drivers just to make ends meet.
And then you have me, I’m spending time with these guys who will give me the shirt off their back just to prove they have some kind of social standing and yet money has always been a moot point for me. I used to think I cared about that sort of stuff the house, the 2.4 children etc but after going through my partners suicide life really becomes so temporary.
For me ultimately life is about being happy and as long as you aren’t hurting anybody else than your happiness should be number one. Perhaps this is why I sympathise with “boat people” and their reasoning behind the journey to Australia I mean who are we to judge when everything for us is so easy? Don’t they have a right to be happy as well.
But travelling for me is also the same, im not into the fivestar hotels, guided tours, top rated resturants. I am more likely to have a better time sleeping on the floor of some random local following them to some obscure adventure in the woods and finishing up with a local meal at their friends house. Maybe that thing I ate that was given to me by that random guy was deep fried cockroache or I don’t even know where the fuck I am the next morning as I crawl bleary eyed out of a tent not recognising the five people passed out beside me. Or maybe I have no money because the closest ATM is miles away and I gave my last 10 bucks to the bartender for a round of beer with my new found associates who names I can’t remember but im fairly certain one of them had a monkey.
So I’m sitting at my 8:24-5 job and then I head off to university so I can get some paper to get a better 8:25-5 job. My office is huge, my boss is awesome, I love the work I do. But a little piece of me inside is kind of wishing I could be somewhere… anywhere where I don’t need anything.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
i reckon this quiz is pretty spot on about my travel style
| I travel like Rolf Potts ! |
|---|
You are a travel legend in the making, with a sense of adventure that will lead to hundreds of fascinating stories. Locals all over the world will give you special nicknames, and almost all of them will be complimentary.
|
| What type of traveler are you? Take BootsnAll's Travel Quiz to find out. |
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Open Couch Request, why?
When you become a power hoster in the couch surfing world you can begin to put yourself on a bit of a pedastal. I am lucky enough that I have barely brushed the elitist attitudes of many of my fellow power hosts and still host for the cultural exchange. I am not going to deny though that the surfers who take that extra effort to be a good guest rate highly in my books.
One issue that is raised quite heavily with the super hosts is the lack of personal requests. Considering the amount of effort it is required to host its often seen that the surfer should at least write a detailed personal request when they want a free bed, but with the newest addition of the OCR (open couch request) suddenly the pressure is put back on the host. The idea that the host chooses the surfer seems to some to create more burden on an already stretched host.
With the kitchen being redone I have had my couch off for several months only occasionally accepting OCRS. I ran a statisitic of current OCR's I accepted in my town. Bear in mind all OCRs unreturned I accepted within 24hrs notice.
Out of 15 OCRs sent out
4 x No response
3 x Declined nicely with reply
1 x Accepted then cancelled by text on the day of being hosted (she was nice about it but I was slightly annoyed)
3 x accepted & were "good" surfers. Nothing bad nothing spectacular.
4 x AWESOME surfers. +4 extras that came as add ons with my awesome surfers that were also AWESOME!!!
I never put a lot of effort into my invites generally just a line or two saying to read my couch description and that I would be happy to host them. By this the effort I took to invite people who never responded doesn't really phase me. But what I did get out of the experience was eight awesome people who surpassed many of my personal request surfers. So if I was to take the attitude that surfers should take the effort to send me personal requests I would have missed out on meeting these people. I know I can't be friends with everyone despite my best efforts and that a couchsurfer missed can be quite easily replaced with another but its hard to imagine my life without them in it.
OCR can also be a little bit about real life. If everyone sits around waiting for people to make the effort to talk to them then a lot of connections could be missed. I know I have a bit of a lonely hearts complex where I seem to befriend lonely people quite reguarly. I hate the thought of all these people not having friends just because they perhaps lack the certain social skills to create friendships. There always has to be someone to make the first step and thinking your better than everyone else so they should come to you is not a good mind frame.
So overall I like the OCR system combined with a personal request system. Really its proven to me that there are some amazing people I just haven't met yet.
One issue that is raised quite heavily with the super hosts is the lack of personal requests. Considering the amount of effort it is required to host its often seen that the surfer should at least write a detailed personal request when they want a free bed, but with the newest addition of the OCR (open couch request) suddenly the pressure is put back on the host. The idea that the host chooses the surfer seems to some to create more burden on an already stretched host.
With the kitchen being redone I have had my couch off for several months only occasionally accepting OCRS. I ran a statisitic of current OCR's I accepted in my town. Bear in mind all OCRs unreturned I accepted within 24hrs notice.
Out of 15 OCRs sent out
4 x No response
3 x Declined nicely with reply
1 x Accepted then cancelled by text on the day of being hosted (she was nice about it but I was slightly annoyed)
3 x accepted & were "good" surfers. Nothing bad nothing spectacular.
4 x AWESOME surfers. +4 extras that came as add ons with my awesome surfers that were also AWESOME!!!
I never put a lot of effort into my invites generally just a line or two saying to read my couch description and that I would be happy to host them. By this the effort I took to invite people who never responded doesn't really phase me. But what I did get out of the experience was eight awesome people who surpassed many of my personal request surfers. So if I was to take the attitude that surfers should take the effort to send me personal requests I would have missed out on meeting these people. I know I can't be friends with everyone despite my best efforts and that a couchsurfer missed can be quite easily replaced with another but its hard to imagine my life without them in it.
OCR can also be a little bit about real life. If everyone sits around waiting for people to make the effort to talk to them then a lot of connections could be missed. I know I have a bit of a lonely hearts complex where I seem to befriend lonely people quite reguarly. I hate the thought of all these people not having friends just because they perhaps lack the certain social skills to create friendships. There always has to be someone to make the first step and thinking your better than everyone else so they should come to you is not a good mind frame.
So overall I like the OCR system combined with a personal request system. Really its proven to me that there are some amazing people I just haven't met yet.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Dare to be different
Freedom. Not just the physical limitations but also the emotional. I often take my freedom for granted often forgetting how lucky I am that I live in a country where I am free to be whoever, whatever I want to be.
From the simple actions in your day to day lives to the political movements that changed the world. Breaking free of religious control and becoming whoever it was that you were supposed to be without rules and regulations of an apparent deity. Or even just simply having the freedom to express yourself without the cares and worries of social standing.
I was flicking through my friends facebook pictures. He is a recently released asylum seeker who has been enjoying what Darwin has to offer I couldn’t help but doze off a little at the pictures. All the same stoic stance with flat expressionless face. And all the same just photos of him standing there staring at the camera. Its like the camera turns on and the personality disappears and he becomes this false image for his friends. I wonder, does he think he actually looks good in every photo?
Is that how it is in Arab communities that appearance is all about just basically existing. How do people live in such a secretive society of bullshit. Why can’t you be who you want to be on the outside as well as the inside.
I look over at my couchsurfers and suddenly I’m on the other side of the spectrum. Open, giving, possibly exploding personalities. They don’t care about their appearances they want to enjoy life and this is the side of spectrum that interests me. This is who I am. My life is an open book & I couldn’t care less. You only have one life why wouldn’t you live it to the best of your ability instead of trying to remain perfect in other people’s eyes. There are countries out there fighting for the rights to be themselves and here you are in one of the most expressive countries out there and still you’re conforming to public opinion.
Laurent my French couch-surfer is a prime example of exploding personalities. He doesn’t seem to care when he looks stupid or people are laughing at him. The photos of his bikini romp through a shopping centre prime example. And this is just one couchsurfer out of many who has inspired me with their sense of adventure.
I don’t expect everyone to be as open as me but at least smile in your damn photos. Or take a risk!!! Do something else besides standing in the same boring stance.
From the simple actions in your day to day lives to the political movements that changed the world. Breaking free of religious control and becoming whoever it was that you were supposed to be without rules and regulations of an apparent deity. Or even just simply having the freedom to express yourself without the cares and worries of social standing.
I was flicking through my friends facebook pictures. He is a recently released asylum seeker who has been enjoying what Darwin has to offer I couldn’t help but doze off a little at the pictures. All the same stoic stance with flat expressionless face. And all the same just photos of him standing there staring at the camera. Its like the camera turns on and the personality disappears and he becomes this false image for his friends. I wonder, does he think he actually looks good in every photo?
Is that how it is in Arab communities that appearance is all about just basically existing. How do people live in such a secretive society of bullshit. Why can’t you be who you want to be on the outside as well as the inside.
I look over at my couchsurfers and suddenly I’m on the other side of the spectrum. Open, giving, possibly exploding personalities. They don’t care about their appearances they want to enjoy life and this is the side of spectrum that interests me. This is who I am. My life is an open book & I couldn’t care less. You only have one life why wouldn’t you live it to the best of your ability instead of trying to remain perfect in other people’s eyes. There are countries out there fighting for the rights to be themselves and here you are in one of the most expressive countries out there and still you’re conforming to public opinion.
Laurent my French couch-surfer is a prime example of exploding personalities. He doesn’t seem to care when he looks stupid or people are laughing at him. The photos of his bikini romp through a shopping centre prime example. And this is just one couchsurfer out of many who has inspired me with their sense of adventure.
I don’t expect everyone to be as open as me but at least smile in your damn photos. Or take a risk!!! Do something else besides standing in the same boring stance.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
ok yes I'm jealous...
I miss my life in Canada why the hell do we have to grow up? Its not Canada so much I miss but the fact that I didn't have anything holding me back from giving up everything and just moving on. Oh bored with this town ok lets move on to a new one.
I have all these couchsurfers walking through my doors having amazing adventures in Australia and here I am working 8-5 every day sometimes even longer.. for what?
I live in Darwin I can't afford to live in Darwin this city is to expensive. Especially when your single I pride myself on independance but I may almost have to get into a relationship just so I can survive.
I want to quit my job and sail off into the sunset right now.
I think its in the works. Soon as I finish my university I'm off to travel europe for six months than resettle somewhere else in Australia. Letting go of Darwin might be difficult for me but I can't afford to live in this town.
I have all these couchsurfers walking through my doors having amazing adventures in Australia and here I am working 8-5 every day sometimes even longer.. for what?
I live in Darwin I can't afford to live in Darwin this city is to expensive. Especially when your single I pride myself on independance but I may almost have to get into a relationship just so I can survive.
I want to quit my job and sail off into the sunset right now.
I think its in the works. Soon as I finish my university I'm off to travel europe for six months than resettle somewhere else in Australia. Letting go of Darwin might be difficult for me but I can't afford to live in this town.
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