Fall seven times, stand up eight.

In 2006 I went on a camping trip that almost ended in death. Daniel(Atikens), My sister Sandra, My boyfriend at the time Brendan, Me, My sister Heather & two other guys Ben&Troy made a decision to go down the douglas daly rapids one week after a massive cyclone had flooded the entire area.

Forgetting the fact that the river branched out from one of the most crocodile infested rivers in Darwin , speeding over trees and sharp rocks with nothing but an inflatable pillow at speeds similar to a maxed out electric scooter was the dangerous stunt here.

Soon as I was back in the water and Brendan and I were heading down the first rapid in front of troy and Sandra I got sucked away from the lilo and pulled over a rapid. I tumbled about four or five times in a circle had no control just trying to get my head above water. I banged every part of my body on rocks and I seriously thought I was going to die. After some extreme tumbling I managed to reach out and snag myself on a tree but once I was on the tree there was nothing I could do. I was trapped in the middle of this river. On my left was more crazy rapids and on the right was the massive rapid I had just come down with the shore about 10 metres away. And I was all alone.

The above is an excerpt from a blog post I wrote back then. Anyone who knows me in the last five years probably thinks well that's normal isn't it. That's just Amanda doing stupid shit & living to tell the story like she always does. What you miss though is in 2006 I was a completely different person. In fact I start that post off with this quote

 I decided fuck it … I never be extreme so I grabbed Brendan’s hand and headed upstream 

I just got back from another trip to Surprise where once again we spent the weekend swimming, jumping, drinking. I love that jump 10m high. I love that feeling as I fall to the water. But I'm desensitised to it, it doesn't scare me standing up there I just feel a flutter of excitement in my chest looking down. A friend of mine was also there and I watched her gripping the cliff walls unable to take the leap of a much smaller 3m jump. I could only imagine how it felt for her and the fear that was controlling her. The reality is though out of the two of us she was the braver one. She was the one who was facing her fears and trying to beat them. I was just having fun and enjoying myself but she wanted to do something she couldn't do.

Before 2006 I spent a long time letting fear and circumstance control me. I had to deal with my entire life being turned upside down at 17 years old. I was pretty young, insecure and naive and I gave in. I spent a good chunk of my life letting that change control me.

One day I knew I couldn’t keep going like this. I heard this new quote

Don’t wait for the storm to pass learn to dance in the rain

So I didn’t. I went to find myself I packed up or sold everything I owned, quit my job and left Darwin. I went to Canada. I was terrified of leaving my support network at home. I almost didn’t get on the plane, I was like my friend gripping onto the cliff walls unable to take that leap.

Needless to say leaving the country was easily the best thing I could have done. Sure my four year relationship ended, and when I returned I had to restart my life again. But I beat my fears. Maybe I had to give up a lot of things at 17 certainly I’ll never be able to water-ski again. But in Canada I found a love for something else. I discovered snowboarding, not only that I discovered I was pretty good at snowboarding. Snowboarding really gave me a new lease on life I was outdoors, I was active and it was hard to describe how happy and pain-free I felt when I was riding down a ski hill. Nothing could come close to that feeling of freedom.

And that’s the secret of life. Snowboarding. Haha. No but really. When I stood up and faced my fears I stopped letting them control me. Snowboarding was the first step for me, it saved me. It gave me passion and inspiration. I realised how much I could do and become. I was the only person in my life who had the ability to make something of myself.

After that I began to embrace life once again. When I couldn’t snowboard anymore I found new passions, new adventures. I am the person who pretty much says yes to anything. So I was a late bloomer in life but there are people older than me who still haven’t experienced anything, who have let circumstances control them. I’m a lucky person I have an amazing family, incredible friends and I live in a beautiful country. I have the chances that many don’t. And I am blessed. Sometimes I still fall back to the times before Canada when my circumstances overwhelm me, but I have to stop those moments from becoming to frequent and the way I do that is by continuing to live and find the awesome in everything. Let it rain, a good thunderstorm is kind of sexy anyway ;) And when the rain stops the entire world glistens.

be my inspiration

One of my favourite things about travelers is how different each of them are. Each individual has their own stories and beliefs and sharing their insights and values makes me a better, more informed person. Last night I was hanging out with a friend of mine I had met through CS gatherings listening to him talk about his spiritual beliefs. He is so opposite to my own non-existent beliefs I was mesmerised by the words he spoke. I’m not converting but I’m always open to discussion about the world and how we are placed within it.

Now I am reminded of an old surfer, Leo.
 

Leo and I could talk for hours on life there was never anything romantic between us but I was so comfortable in his presence and so interested in what he had to say as a person that I was happy to spend every day with him. I haven’t talked to Leo for a really long time, maybe a year but I know if we are ever in the same country again we could go back to exactly where we were on my balcony in 2011. Smoking a joint and discussing life.

These people who grace my life with their presence are improving me as a human and evolving my personality to new dimensions. Awareness is a huge part of being a better person opening your eyes to the world and accepting the differences of each person. I know I’ve had this revelation before when I took mushrooms in Bali with Dominik.

I just hope I continue to meet people who inspire me to make the most and best of the life I was given.

on top of the world, or at least pretty close

Life is a series of moments captured in time in our mind. The time we have is finite so capture those moments like a snap shot to hold on to forever. 

I just had my third awesome weekend in a row. Also my third ‘technically I camped’ weekend in a row. What is it about sleeping outdoors that makes me so happy? My latest CS reference says I love nature & being in nature. I remember taking him on a night bush walk outside my house, we found some cool frogs and I fell in a stream, it was a good night. 

Darwin Festival is in full swing right now, its definitely worth visiting during this time of the year. I went to see Zombies in the Banyan Tree a TRAX production with my sister, mother & friend Diane. It’s a bit of a family tradition to see their show each year. This particular year started a little slow but the last half an hour was really awesome. TRAX is all local people usually younger but it can mixed and its focus is dancing. After the performance we followed the fairy lights to the after party and got lots of free food and alcohol. I spent the rest of the night chilling on a blanket in the dark shadows of foliage with a bottle of wine and my friend Aaron listening to You Am I who were playing in the amphitheatre at the botanical gardens.  I could have paid $60 and gone to see them live but this way was much more entertaining.

Saturday I headed to an undisclosed location for a rooftop curry night courtesy of my good friend Jon. Jon & I have known each for a long time we met each other working at the casino approx. 10 years ago. I was in a brief in between jobs phase snagging a dishwashing job to get by and he was the bartender. I only worked there for three months but we remained friends. I always remember a late night text he sent me something like “I just woke up parked on the driver school oval I don’t remember how I got here”

Also we went fishing once at a bridge somewhere near Palmerston. We decided after an hour or so with no bites to pack it in. Pulling up the line we were shocked to see a huge fish gnawing on the line, we had no idea what the fish was but it had a huge beak and its skin flaked away in our hands. It was gross but we took it home anyway only to discover it was highly poisonous. Haha, oh what fishing virgins we used to be Jon!

Anyway the curry night involved a bunch of people making separate dishes and then all coming together on the rooftop to share, drink wine & talk. The company and atmosphere was astounding. The view was incredible 30 stories high you could see the whole of Darwin city and the sunset didn’t fail to impress. Coupled with incredible wine and food and you pretty much have the makings of an unforgettable night. So thanks Jon (and Celesthe), appreciate the effort. I got a little to drunk but I do that often with wine, I passed out in a corner of the roof at one point apparently there are plenty of photos.

And a highlight to boot I brought my tent camping 30 stories high waking up to a beautiful view. Being on top of Darwin, life can’t be so bad right?

Sunday was chilled I cleaned the house and cooked dinner, Thai Chicken & Galangal soup which was awesome – just sayin ;). Watched a movie with my surfers outside. Apparently Markus & Marlen have been devouring my movie collection I didn’t even ever notice them setting up the outdoor theatre but according to Marlen I am never home anyway, though with so many things to do and such a short window to do them in its no wonder I’m not sitting around at home.

Woke up this morning (Tuesday 13^th August 2013) at 3am to catch the Perseid Meteor shower down at Lee Point Beach. A once a year event for the northern hemisphere but can still be viewed from Darwin. Sometimes being on top of the continent is useful! In fact we had the best view of the burning rocks in Australia. I met up with Luke another couchsurfer, his roommate Amanda(she has an awesome name), Another CS host in Darwin, Daniel & his two surfers I forget their names but they were European girls probably German. I lay out a blanket on the sand and we spent two hours watching the skies talking about all sorts of random things like controlling your dreams and the premise of feng shui.

Its been a full on few days but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Every moment matters and every moment needs to be lived because you only have the one life (unless you believe in reincarnation but then you only have THIS life once) so you might as well make the best of what you are given.

Life is locomotion, if you’re not moving you’re not living. – The Flash

My Favourite Surfer Ever!!

When a surfer leafs through my guestbook I can’t help but look over their shoulder, reading the words of the hundreds of people who have graced my presence.

“that german girl was all set to kill the mice I couldn’t kill but then took one look at them and announced them too cute for death…”

Äh yea that guy he came to Litchfield with us one day and just read a book the entire time”

“Those two boys were awesome they brought me that frying pan to make my pancakes!”

“Gosh that Spanish guy and his friends they just looked like the biggest hippies but they were the nicest friendliest people I’ve met. Me and the German guy went down the waterslide and because he was so big I went flying skidding on the concrete.”

“He is my favourite surfer ever”

“She is my favourite surfer ever!”

“They are my favourite surfers ever”

Repeat:

I can tell you something about every single one of my surfers, something unique, something special, something that reminds me how that person touched my life. Maybe we aren’t going to be best friends and skype every week or send each other Christmas cards but each one of them added some value to me knowing them. Even the not so positive experiences taught me something.

So I’m saying goodbye to two of my favourite surfers ever, I know I say that phrase far too often but about 85% of my surfers ARE my favourite surfers ever. This world just has so many GOOD people and they all seem to be coming my way constantly. There is almost too many good people I can’t keep up with them all. I wish I could host them all.

Mike & Sarah an American couple that deserve all the best kind of karma.  I wish them the best, I really do. I hope they have lots of children because any children raised by them are bound to be spectacular human beings and lets not kid the world can never have too many awesome people in it. 

Sarah, MIke & I

Now Luke is on the first page of my guestbook one of my original surfers way back in 2010. We met through Matthias a german guy who sent me a couch request. I couldn’t host because I already had 10+ people but I invited them to a party at my house. They crashed that night giving me my ultimate record of 17 couchsurfers and then the next night we and half my current surfers went to a bush rave out in Mandorah. Was an epic night with some of the best people I have ever met.

A week later I ran into them Matthias, Luke & their friend Jack at a nightclub outing to discover they were camping behind Macdonalds in the bush. A spot had opened up and I offered them my garden, things continued and they ended up living with us for about two months in total. Those two months were awesome everyone was working and in between we partied, camped and snake hunted. Trees were pulled down, stories were told and food was cooked. They watched the stream of surfers enter and leave and we had my first couch-surfing family.

 When they left it was a sad day but every traveller needs to move on at some point and I only hope to see them again in the future, just like I hope to see Mike & Sarah in the future. 

And Luke came back to me. He just left again on Thursday but he returned to Darwin with his girlfriend & cousin in tow for an epic long weekend. It was fate the road to Surprise Creek opened that day since we had had so many adventures there back in 2010. We went out camping with a bunch of other awesome people a mix of couch surfers & locals and just had an all-round EPIC weekend.

Surprise Creek Camping Trip 2010

Surprise Creek Camping Trip 2013

Luke & I 2010

Luke & I 2013

Don’t be dismayed at goodbyes a farewell is necessary before you can meet again and meeting again after a moment or lifetime is certain for those who are friends.