Goodbye, AGAIN!

Well the weekend is over and we have a new prime minister. Tony Abbot of the Liberal Party is now running Australia. Not the outcome I would have liked at all but what can you do. I could think about seeking political asylum in another country, one that actually honors its humanitarian rights, maybe Sweden.  I think I was lulled into a false sense of security that the Australian voter would actually vote with their brains and not with their eyes closed. My facebook is full of intelligent insightful people of all different political persuasions but at least they had an educated opinion which is more than I can say for the majority of voters. The curse of compulsory voting.

Now despite the depressing news of a conservative backwards moving government winning power I had a really good weekend. I was once again surrounded by some really beautiful people to spend my time with. Young serious Luke who I have had the pleasure to get to know over the last few months is heading off on his next adventure back to Port Lincoln in Adelaide. Again its that time of the year when all the people I met over the dry season slowly dissipate and move south or leave the country. The point is they leave and it sucks.  We had a party for his farewell at my house and a bunch of colorful characters were in attendance. I was in true form very very drunk but I still managed to keep my eyes open till 4amish before crashing out hard on my bed.

I hate saying goodbye and I seem to be doing it all the time. Darwin is a bit like that though it takes a certain type of person to live up here you really do love or hate it when the weather switches. I hate meeting awesome people than watching them ride off into the sunset. I’m going to miss Luke a lot he is just one of those really cool genuine people.  Hey I wish him all the best.

This might be one of those blog posts about nothing, I was trying to have a deeper meaning and philosophy like a lot of my other posts but I couldn’t really think of anything that I haven’t already said. I did mention that I say goodbye A LOT. But I also wanted to write that I’m really going to miss you Luke :D

Its ok to be single in your 30s unless your a girl....

Forgive me for taking a step outside of the kitchen to write this particular blog post. My inner feminist is a little bit angry. Why?  Does it have to do with the complete and utter idiocy of the voting public? Well yes that’s probably one reason I am angry but doesn’t really have anything to do with my inner feminist. No it came today when I was having a political discussion with a very intelligent friend of mine and during the debate he said “Why are you still single?”

Why am I still single…. because seriously any female who is smart, attractive and interesting shouldn’t be single hell there must be some deep hidden issues under her smiling façade if she made it to 30 without snagging herself a man.

Fuck you society, this is the fourth time in the last three days I’ve been asked why I’m single. Its not even flattering in fact it’s the opposite. If you see a single, successful, attractive man in his 30s do you ask him why he is single? Do you think there must be something wrong with him that he hasn’t found a wife yet? Why do we still continue to believe that a women’s ultimate life plan is to settle down with a nice man and pop out babies yet men who hang on to singledom longer are revered and respected? I’ve been single for 80% of my life, I didn’t even have my first relationship until I was 22 and its not because I don’t have options or that I’m psychologically damaged. No I’m single because I choose to be, because I’m happy with who I am and where I am. That doesn’t mean I’m not open to finding love it just means that I don’t need it but if I find it then well awesome.

Read this: Its ok to be single in your thirties

Fall seven times, stand up eight.

In 2006 I went on a camping trip that almost ended in death. Daniel(Atikens), My sister Sandra, My boyfriend at the time Brendan, Me, My sister Heather & two other guys Ben&Troy made a decision to go down the douglas daly rapids one week after a massive cyclone had flooded the entire area.

Forgetting the fact that the river branched out from one of the most crocodile infested rivers in Darwin , speeding over trees and sharp rocks with nothing but an inflatable pillow at speeds similar to a maxed out electric scooter was the dangerous stunt here.

Soon as I was back in the water and Brendan and I were heading down the first rapid in front of troy and Sandra I got sucked away from the lilo and pulled over a rapid. I tumbled about four or five times in a circle had no control just trying to get my head above water. I banged every part of my body on rocks and I seriously thought I was going to die. After some extreme tumbling I managed to reach out and snag myself on a tree but once I was on the tree there was nothing I could do. I was trapped in the middle of this river. On my left was more crazy rapids and on the right was the massive rapid I had just come down with the shore about 10 metres away. And I was all alone.

The above is an excerpt from a blog post I wrote back then. Anyone who knows me in the last five years probably thinks well that's normal isn't it. That's just Amanda doing stupid shit & living to tell the story like she always does. What you miss though is in 2006 I was a completely different person. In fact I start that post off with this quote

 I decided fuck it … I never be extreme so I grabbed Brendan’s hand and headed upstream 

I just got back from another trip to Surprise where once again we spent the weekend swimming, jumping, drinking. I love that jump 10m high. I love that feeling as I fall to the water. But I'm desensitised to it, it doesn't scare me standing up there I just feel a flutter of excitement in my chest looking down. A friend of mine was also there and I watched her gripping the cliff walls unable to take the leap of a much smaller 3m jump. I could only imagine how it felt for her and the fear that was controlling her. The reality is though out of the two of us she was the braver one. She was the one who was facing her fears and trying to beat them. I was just having fun and enjoying myself but she wanted to do something she couldn't do.

Before 2006 I spent a long time letting fear and circumstance control me. I had to deal with my entire life being turned upside down at 17 years old. I was pretty young, insecure and naive and I gave in. I spent a good chunk of my life letting that change control me.

One day I knew I couldn’t keep going like this. I heard this new quote

Don’t wait for the storm to pass learn to dance in the rain

So I didn’t. I went to find myself I packed up or sold everything I owned, quit my job and left Darwin. I went to Canada. I was terrified of leaving my support network at home. I almost didn’t get on the plane, I was like my friend gripping onto the cliff walls unable to take that leap.

Needless to say leaving the country was easily the best thing I could have done. Sure my four year relationship ended, and when I returned I had to restart my life again. But I beat my fears. Maybe I had to give up a lot of things at 17 certainly I’ll never be able to water-ski again. But in Canada I found a love for something else. I discovered snowboarding, not only that I discovered I was pretty good at snowboarding. Snowboarding really gave me a new lease on life I was outdoors, I was active and it was hard to describe how happy and pain-free I felt when I was riding down a ski hill. Nothing could come close to that feeling of freedom.

And that’s the secret of life. Snowboarding. Haha. No but really. When I stood up and faced my fears I stopped letting them control me. Snowboarding was the first step for me, it saved me. It gave me passion and inspiration. I realised how much I could do and become. I was the only person in my life who had the ability to make something of myself.

After that I began to embrace life once again. When I couldn’t snowboard anymore I found new passions, new adventures. I am the person who pretty much says yes to anything. So I was a late bloomer in life but there are people older than me who still haven’t experienced anything, who have let circumstances control them. I’m a lucky person I have an amazing family, incredible friends and I live in a beautiful country. I have the chances that many don’t. And I am blessed. Sometimes I still fall back to the times before Canada when my circumstances overwhelm me, but I have to stop those moments from becoming to frequent and the way I do that is by continuing to live and find the awesome in everything. Let it rain, a good thunderstorm is kind of sexy anyway ;) And when the rain stops the entire world glistens.